My B, I just wanted to stop a hot minute, because I look like a hot mess of a hobag

Um, I need people to stop peeking in on my life and stealing phrases that my friends and I use on a regular basis. Perhaps you think I'm being paranoid, and I'd tell you to stop being a hobag. You wouldn't know what I just called you, and that would be the point. There have been several different instances of myself or my friends coming up with phrases that are so out there, and so random, that the probability that they would have been created by another person in a similar time frame and then permeated the popular culture is slim to none. Case in point:

#1 I was watching 'My Wife and Kids', yeah? And so, anyway, the little daughter, I forget her name, called the older sister a hobag. I would like it duly noted that I, or at least England and I, made of the phrase hobag. Now, I don't have any documentation asserting to that fact, but I can honestly say that we've been using the phrase for years, and it certainly shouldn't have any significance to anyone else. Mostly because it doesn't mean anything.

This isn't the first time that this has happened. My friend Heather just heard Gerard Way of MCR fame mention 'a hot minute'. This is ridiculous. It doesn't mean anything, and my friends and I made it up. I don't even know why. This isn't a case of us hearing it somewhere and then thinking that we made it up. Such is the case with My B. About two years ago, I was with my three friends, and I was saying 'My Bad'. But I was thinking that that was too long, so I wanted something that would save me a little time. So I was like, I'm going to just say My B from now on. It's kind of become my thing, so I say it all the time. Then, about two days ago, I was coming out of the Thompson Center (doesn't matter, just a building), and I heard a guy say, "And then I was like, my b, dude." And I was like wtf?!?! I totally made that up. I mean, I made a conscious effort to bring it into the world. The same with a hot mess. The same Heather heard Horse Teeth (aka P.W.) from FOB say it. And I was like, I feel like we should get royalties. So, anyway, be on the lookout for these phrases. If you hear or see them, drop me a line, and maybe I can make some money off of this.