Ice Cream Addiction

Harley and I had been married for about eleven years when I realized that she had a serious problem. Every morning I would get little TayQuon and Shalizephra ready for school, and I would get ready for work, and she'd still be lounging in the bed, not even stirring from a late night binge. It would be about 12:30 before she would call the office, screaming through the reciever: "Where'd you put it, bitch?! Where is my stuff! I've told you to keep you g**damn hands off it!" I would hold the phone away from my ear, and bite my lip to keep the tears from flowing down my cheeks. Debbie and Kline would peer over the cubicle walls and shake their heads sadly. "Honey, I wish you wouldn't get started so early.", I would say, quietly. It was a whisper, almost a plea. Debbie sits hard down at her desk. "Tell her it all melted." Kline walked past slowly, "Deb, she wouldn't lie to that she-devil if her life depended on it. After I pick up the kids, and head back home, there are already Reese's Swirl cartons all over the floor, and I can hear her stomping around in the kitchen. I send the kids upstairs to get started on thier homework, and I get started cleaning. She walks in with a spoon still hanging out of her mouth, "Terri, I told you not to put the new cartons in the big freezer, they get hard, and I can barely break into them!" She raises her hand as if to strike me and I flinch, but the icy confection already has her, so instead she sinks down on the couch to stare at the black tv. Later on, as I lie in bed, she scoots in close to me, and I can smell the choclate on her breath, each a warm, deep sigh that curls the hair on the back of my neck. The night that I decide to leave is much like this. Kilne and Debbie are raving because she has once again taken the money I had budgeted for my lunch everyday, to fuel her habit. When I put up the least amount of resistance, she sent her fist into my mouth, drawing blood from my lip. It brought tears to my eyes every time I thought about it, and it took all of my strength to keep from crying as I got into the carpool line to drop the kids off at school. Kline walked by my cubicle, and gasped, it wasn't long before they were both calling me to move in with them. "Look, Terri, she's not worth it. What she's doing to you... all for that white stuff." Why don't you just take the kids and leave." Leave? I think. And go where? I have no options, and I certainly don't know what she'll do if I'm not there to fuel her habit. And some part of me still cares about her, and I'm not sure what would become of her if I left. However, thier words began to touch me and I was very sure that leaving would be the best option for me. However, as soon as the kids and I stepped into the house, I was sure that things would almost always stay the same. The house was quiet and I was sure she was either gone, scoring her next hit from the local ice cream man, or fast asleep in our bed upstairs. So, I didn't mind TayQuon going to get a little afterschool snack. I walked in behind him, just in time to see him reach towards thee refrigerator, and a hand reach for him. She wasn't gone, she had simply collapsed at the kitchen table! Tayquon began to scream as she shook him by his collar, screaming at the top of her lungs about little s**ts in her stash. I raced for my son, and wrested him out of her arms. I could overlook some things, but when she grabbed the boy, that was enough. Which more quickness than I would have given her, she snatched up a butcher knife that was on the kitchen counter. TayQuon still stood in range, so I shoved the boy backwards, and made a go for the knife. We fell to the floor, and after several moments of frantic struggle, I felt Harley go limp. I looked downward to realize that the knife had made it's way into her chest, and directly into her heart. It was that moment that I began to cry. As I gathered my children into my arms, I suddenly realized that even with everything that had happened, the worst was over. Now, with Kilne and Debbie with the kids upstairs, I wait with Harley in the kitchen. I am waiting for the police to arrive, but I have a smile on my face. The worst is truly over.