Terri's Cellar Door

Stuff that happens to me, Terri.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

The Gay Menace vs. the Lesbian Seduction

I was just thinking about how uber weak this whole lesbian/gay thing is. Here is something for you to imagine: Your grown up kid has asked you to sit down, they have something to tell you. You brace for the worst. They have tears in their eyes as they look at you and say, "Mom, Dad, I'm gay." Okay, now imagine that this is your son. For a lot of people it would mean sobs, and wails, and all kinds of theatrics. You think of the discrimination that your son will face, you'll have to forget about grandchildren, weddings, and getting to know your daughter in law. What did you do wrong? You start to question your parenting and worry about your other kids. Most likely it's not going to be a good event for you. Now, go back to the situation that I posted, and imagine that your child was a girl. Does that change your perception? Does the sin seem a little less deadly now, the lifestyle a little less crucial? For me, even though I don't want it to be, it does. And this brings me to the debate. A friend of mine was talking with a couple of her co-workers about porn. Now, this may not be a topic that you want to discuss at work, but they work in a pretty liberal environment, so it was cool. Basically the discussion was that while watching gay porn is tantamount to blasphemy, watching lesbian porn is a natural thing, because everybody knows that there is nothing more natural than watching two girls explore each other's bodies. Why does gay sex have such a negative meaning and lesbian sex such an erotic, innocent one? Well, I have a couple theories as to that (I'm sure you saw this coming if you read this blog regularly. Which I'm sure you don't). The first two have to do with the men, and the last one is concerning the women. Firstly, think about heterosexual male relationships. There has become such a stigma about showing the least bit of sensitivity when around a man's male friends. Men are not supposed to open up about their feelings, they're not supposed to want to talk and share, and they're certainly not supposed to want physical contact with their friends. So, becoming sexually intimate with another male may seem to break through that highly important male interaction. There is an intimacy in sex that brushes past all the norms of male physical contact, even moreso than it's sex with another guy. For women, physical contact is the norm. We long to cuddle with our mates when watching tv, or at the movies, girl friends sometimes hold hands, stand arm in arm, and lounge against one another. I know for a fact that my friends have sat in my lap, laid on my shoulder, and had their head in my lap. Could you imagine a guy painting another guys toenails? Even if they did that sort of thing, it's this kind of physical proximity that makes women closer to one another, almost in an intimate way. Secondly, women just don't watch porn. Well, I know that some women do, but just as men wouldn't think about snuggling in close to their best friend, they wouldn't want to watch dudes getting it on. Thus, just because there's less exposure, there's a stigma about it. Finally, there's ladies. For some reason, I dunno if this is true or not, it seems that there's this myth floating around that most woman have at least one lesbian experience. I think (if this is true) it stems from the fact that most woman are more liberal with their sexuality. Ask a woman if another woman is hot (not competition, a celebrity or something, and not asked by a guy), and if she's hot, the woman would probably say so. More like, she's attractive, or I'd date her. My friends and I go so far as to say, "I'd do her" without any actual intent on ever having sex with the woman. While women will say that another woman is attractive, or that they'd do her, that doesn't mean that they'd drop everything on the spot and go make out with her. It just means that women are so comfortable in their sexuality, that they don't mind saying things that may make them sound a little gay. There's no such wiggle room with guys, however. A man must profess before any statement sounding the least bit "homosexual", 'Not to sound gay or anything.' They say this before mentioning someones looks, hair, or even clothes. I mean sound "homosexual" as in, interested in fashion, conscious about clothing, or any of the things said that gay men are all into. My friends and I have a theory, that I'm sure we stole from somebody else: basically it states that everybody is on a slider as far as their sexuality. Meaning at 1 is 100%, never, ever thought anybody of the same sex was vaguely attractive. 10 is all out, never ever thought anybody of the opposite sex was vaguely attractive. I think that most people fall in the 3 to 6 range, with people who identify themselves as homosexuals at 7 and above. However, I don't think that anybody truly occupies the 1 or the 10 spot. Most women will say that they're somewhere in between probably 3 and 5. However, ask any (supposedly straight) dude and they will invariably say 1. Even though to have lived a life where you never, ever thought that any person of the same sex was the least bit attractive is disingenuous. Everyone has had at least one moment where they thought someone of the same sex was hot, women are just more truthful in their admission of it. So, this is not in support of one agenda or another, I just wanted to discuss the disparities. I mean, if you're going to hate it, hate it all, or none. You can't have your dirty gay porn and your cute lesbian porn. Make peace with it, and decide once and for all.


Blogger Marlewen said...

I totally agree with all of this post. I would also like to point out that a lot of gay porn is full of "angry sex" which stems from like...self hatred and whatnot. This shows up a lot in yaoi.

Also, as an example of a man who's sort of comfortable with his sexuality, I present you with a Harry Dresden quote (that's not exact because I'm too lazy to flip through my copy of Grave Peril).

"Thomas was the kind of guy that women noticed. Hell, even I was noticing how good he looked."

Harry also comments frequently on Thomas' abs. Simply because he doesn't have any XD Harry is a sad, sad, SKINNY bean pole of a man. But we love him just as well.

7:06 PM  
Blogger England said...

By the Gods, Terri Day can read minds... Because that is everything I believe, in a nutshell:)


12:59 PM  
Anonymous Harley Quinn. said...

Yes. Yes yes yes yes. You should put this on buzznet. Or, you know, not, because I don't know if we'll get hits on us or something. So...yeah, I totally agree.


7:30 PM  

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