Terri's Cellar Door

Stuff that happens to me, Terri.

Friday, December 19, 2008

I Googled Suicide Today

I Googled suicide today. I don't plan on killing myself. I'd like to make that abundantly clear. But I am the type of person who likes options. Interestingly enough I'm not the type of person who does research. So, this was a new experience for me. What I found were sites mostly trying to stop people from committing suicide. I didn't, however, find a site offering tips on the best way to do it. There was a particularly funny entry on CRACKED.COM, which did help lift my spirits a little. One passage likened committing suicide to having your friends and family buy you a car, and then running them all over with it. I guess it is a little like that. Suicide only hurts the people that care about you the most, so why would you be such a ginormous douchebag and do something like that? Anyway, I heard it's some sort of brain thing so I'll leave it alone. Anyway, so I could never commit suicide. I think I say that I want to kill myself as a coping device more than anything else. I really have A) too high an opinion of myself and B) A real fear that God will be mad at me, to do anything like that. I was telling a friend of mine that I went to a religious middle school and in Bible study we learned that blaspheming against the Holy Spirit was the only unforgivable sin. After that I used to live in mortal fear that I would accidentally do that. Like, little Jenny was afraid that Johnny didn't like her, and I was afraid that I would, somehow, blaspheme against the Holy Spirit. To this moment I don't even know what that would entail. I dunno if you'd have to sign something, in blood or whatever. But, anyway, for all that I know that suicide is a pretty bad sin. Hey, I've seen Constantine. I'm just saying, I was looking it up is all.


Blogger England Simpson said...

That reminds me of Knocked up, when the little girl googled Murder! It was hilarious, Nick Cannon's hilarious dad!

12:00 PM  
Anonymous DJ Davis said...

Yo i used to be scared i was going to blaspheme everyday!

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Phillip said...

I laughed so hard at this. But then I was saddened. You can find all sorts of things on the net. I guess as a society we have not yet managed to get everything on the internet. maybe One day we will be able to be advanced enough to provide tips to those who want to commit self slaughter. *sigh*

11:32 PM  

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