Yessir, the Check's in the Mail...

Well, I just have to share something with you all. So, there's this movie, and it's called Big Trouble in Little China. And if you've neevr seen it, well you're missing out on an extravaganza of fun, danger, and the occasional Chinese misrepresentation. Let me regale you with some quotes from the movie (courtesy of IMDB.com) to whet your whistle:

Jack Burton: Ok, you people! Sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president.

Gracie: [Jack and Gracie are in an elevator, on their way to confront Lo Pan] You have a gun, I hope?
Jack Burton: A knife.
Gracie: A knife? This guy's twelve feet tall!
Jack Burton: Seven. Besides, I can take him.

Eddie: Well sure it was a war. And anybody that showed up was gonna join Lem Lee in the Hell Of Being Cut To Pieces.
Jack Burton: Hell of being what?
Eddie: Chinese have a lot of Hells.
Wang Chi: Jack, listen, I need more of your help. I can't pay you today, OK?
Jack Burton: Oh shit.
Wang Chi: How can I? I need all my cash for Miao Yin.
Eddie: And it's gonna cost. She's got green eyes.
Gracie: Oh no, seriously? Oh, that's an extra to these people. It's like leather bucket seats, it's double the price.

Now, I'm going to be honest with you. I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!! Not only is it a cinematic masterpiece, but the dialogue is so quick witted that one can't help but laugh. And it's campy, sure it's campy, but it never forgets that. And sometimes it harps on it, just to let you know that it's in on the joke. So, let me just give you a little summary of the movie. Jack Burton is a truck driver who drives across country in a truck called the PorkChop Express (why? you ask, because he hauls pigs). So, one wet night he makes a stop in on Chinatown, in what I believe is in San Fransico, CA, and he plays a couple of high stakes games with his old friend, Wang. So, the next morning, Wang owes him a lot of money, and Jack plays escort to his friend when Wang goes to pick up his wife, coming in from China. So, once at the airport, they run into Gracie Law (played but the wonderful Kim Cattrell) and Wang's wife, Miao Yin, get's kidnapped. Turns out she's been kidnapped by the evil David Lo Pan(Lo Pan) an elderly businessman, who (when so inclined) can turn into a great magician twelve (no, seven) feet tall. Comic/adventurous hijinks ensue, and by the end of the movie, the bad guy is defeated, the girl (s) is saved, and everything works out in the end. Well, sorta. The movie is just plain fun. I love the action, the characters, and most of all the dialogue. And the way Kurt Russell plays Jack Burton, it's just a trip. He's hilarious, and mostly serious. This movie came out in theaters maybe twenty years ago, but it's still as fun a trip as it was back then. I would say if you're a fan of movies like The Last Dragon, or the Golden Child, then definately check this one out. And if you haven't seen those other two, then where have you been?!?! Go back to the eighties and try them out. For eighties movies, they still hold up well, much like Indiana Jones, or somesuch. Anyway, On Terri's Scale o' Movies, I would definately give this one an 9. I leave you with my favorite quote from the movie, from the indomitable Jack Burton, who is always doling out advice and referring to himself in the third person:

"When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail." --Jack Burton

Check out a website with amazing stuff about Big Trouble in Little China, links, interviews, and much more than any one website should really have about this movie. Plus, there are t-shirts!