My Daddy was a Dollar, Not Worth A Hundred Cents...

My daddy was a dollar, I wrote it on a fence. So, I saw this really crazy movie the other day, and that quote (My daddy was a dollar...) was written on all these walls, and I was like, daaaaang. You're crazy Robert Downey Jr. So, anyway, I'm sure you've ventured here for insight into some pressing problem, or somehow got confused when trying to google some porn, but irregardless, you're here. And the back button doesn't work in TerriLand. Mwhahaha. Wow, this is almost about a half a paragraph, and I've written about nothing. I'm on a roll! Actually, I'm going to buckle down and write about something that's been on my mind for some time now. And by been on my mind, I mean I just went to warm up some pizza, turned on the tv, and scrambled about for ten minutes trying to think or something. And here's me giving up and just posting some stuff I think you'll find interesting:

From the Devil's Dictionary:

When the world was young and Man was new,

      And everything was pleasant,
Distinctions Nature never drew
   'Mongst kings and priest and peasant.
   We're not that way at present,
Save here in this Republic, where
   We have that old regime,
For all are kings, however bare
   Their backs, howe'er extreme
Their hunger.  And, indeed, each has a voice
To accept the tyrant of his party's choice.

A citizen who would not vote,
   And, therefore, was detested,
Was one day with a tarry coat
   (With feathers backed and breasted)
   By patriots invested.
"It is your duty," cried the crowd,
   "Your ballot true to cast
For the man o' your choice."  He humbly bowed,
   And explained his wicked past:
"That's what I very gladly would have done,
Dear patriots, but he has never run."

A little bit more:

I dreamed I stood upon a hill, and, lo!
The godly multitudes walked to and fro
Beneath, in Sabbath garments fitly clad,
With pious mien, appropriately sad,
While all the church bells made a solemn din --
A fire-alarm to those who lived in sin.
Then saw I gazing thoughtfully below,
With tranquil face, upon that holy show
A tall, spare figure in a robe of white,
Whose eyes diffused a melancholy light.
"God keep you, strange," I exclaimed.  "You are
No doubt (your habit shows it) from afar;
And yet I entertain the hope that you,
Like these good people, are a Christian too."
He raised his eyes and with a look so stern
It made me with a thousand blushes burn
Replied -- his manner with disdain was spiced:
"What!  I a Christian?  No, indeed!  I'm Christ."