Terri's Cellar Door

Stuff that happens to me, Terri.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Werewolf Mar Mitzvah, This time it's not Hanukkah!

I was looking everywhere for the lyrics to Werewolf Bar Mitzvah (see my post about the dynamite show 30 Rock here), but I couldn't find them. So, I decided to take it upon myself to type them all out. I typed the producer's parts in red, cause sometimes he talks over Tracey, but it's still funny, so I thought you should hear what he's saying. You can download the song here, and sing along!
**Thanks to Matt, who corrected some of my spelling. If anybody sees anything else, just tell me!

Guy (I think he's the Producer): Aw man, Tre, look up at the sky. It's a full moon... on the Sabbath.

Tracey: This is (pause) scary!

Producer: Break it down.

Tracey: I was working late on my Haftorah,
When I heard a knock on my bedroom door-a.
I opened it up and to my surprise, (surprise)
There was a werewolf standing there with glowing gold eyes. (glowing gold eyes)
He said tomorrow ,my son, you will be a man (man)
But tonight's the time to join the wolfen clan. (clan)
Tomorrow you will stand at the bimah and pray,
But tonight let's gaze at the moon and bay.

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, spooky, scary
Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.
Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, spooky, scary
Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.

Producer: All right, that was, that was great Tre, okay. It's over. That's a wrap, oh.

Tracey: The next day what happened?
The tomah didn't teach, (Oh, there's more)
I got up in front of everyone to give my little speech.
Then my teeth turned into fangs,
And my nails into claws
And I nearly dropped the Torah when my hands turned into paws!
I growled and I roared and my Rabbi did as well.
It was a rocking werewolf zoo at Temple Beth-Emmanuel!

Producer: Hey man, were'd you learn all these Jewish words?

Tracey: My manager, Harvey Lemmings!
Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, spooky, scary
Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.

Producer: I don't, I-I just don't think this, the idea of the song can sustain itself for that long. It doesn't, it seems a little sweaty now, so...

Tracey: This whole premise is sweaty.

We had a reception at the Larchmont Country Club.
They served a real nice brisket and an eight foot party sub.
I danced with my cousins, I got money from my folk,
We had a lot of fun making circumcision jokes. (Uh uh)
Then I remembered the premise of my song,
I was at a nice reception, but the werewolf part was gone.
So, we pulled ourselves together and we're wolfmen again
Just in time for Monster Fight to begin! (No!)
All the country club employees were a brain sucking pack
Who had all turned into zombies and were on the attack. (No!)
So we fought them and some Dracula's and Frankensteins too,

Cause you've gotta love Bar Mitzvahs even if you're not a (howl)

Producer: (over singing)
There's no such thing as Frankensteins. Steins. There's no plural Frankenstein.
Tracey: Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, spooky scary
Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.
Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, kooky, hairy
Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.

(background singers keep singing chorus)

I don't want this, I don't like this, this is scary!
Turning into werewolves and stuff.
You know?

Producer: I don't know Tre, I'm not feeling it. This ain't no dick in a box.
(Tracey howls)
Mazeltov.

3 Comments:

Blogger Marlewen said...

I really wish I had seen this.

9:00 PM  
Blogger Matt R said...

Haftorah, not Haktorah
Bimah, not beamah

1:12 AM  
Blogger Under Thy Tongue said...

lol. "This ain't no dick in a box". Hilarious!

2:03 PM  

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