I don't know what a Hollaback girl is. All I know is that I want her dead.

Recently I heard about in England, how they were censoring Tom and Jerry cartoons to take out the smoking. Because, long time fans of the show will notice, sometimes when he's trying to be cool, or something, Tom will light up a stoogy, usually using Jerry as the lighter, or the paper licker or something. I don't get this. These are parts of our past, and I guess I figure if it was good enough for kids of the past, it's good enough for kids now. I mean, how many of us watched those old Tom and Jerry cartoons and then went and bought a pack of cigs that night. Or long after. I think there are much more influential things in our lives that get us to smoke (if we do) than a bunch of cartoons. Anyway, you're talking about a cartoon where I just saw a mouse put an iron in a pie and then throw it at a cat's head. Firstly, worse stuff happens all the time on that show than smoking. Tom and Jerry are horrible violent to one another and nobody ever gets hurt, or shows any lasting effects. Of course my favorite gag is when Jerry props open the window with a ruler, and then leads Tom through the window, kicking the ruler out with him. So, then, the window closes, clasping Tom's neck in the window. It's hilarious. And it always makes me laugh. I think sometimes being over protective is just being overprotective. They've take alot of Warner Bros. cartoons off for some ridiculous reason or another, and if we keep letting people mess with our classics. All we'll have are the memories of the great cartoons we had growing up, while our kids will be stuck inside an ever widening bubble.

My Daddy was a Dollar, Not Worth A Hundred Cents...

My daddy was a dollar, I wrote it on a fence. So, I saw this really crazy movie the other day, and that quote (My daddy was a dollar...) was written on all these walls, and I was like, daaaaang. You're crazy Robert Downey Jr. So, anyway, I'm sure you've ventured here for insight into some pressing problem, or somehow got confused when trying to google some porn, but irregardless, you're here. And the back button doesn't work in TerriLand. Mwhahaha. Wow, this is almost about a half a paragraph, and I've written about nothing. I'm on a roll! Actually, I'm going to buckle down and write about something that's been on my mind for some time now. And by been on my mind, I mean I just went to warm up some pizza, turned on the tv, and scrambled about for ten minutes trying to think or something. And here's me giving up and just posting some stuff I think you'll find interesting:

From the Devil's Dictionary:

When the world was young and Man was new,

      And everything was pleasant,
Distinctions Nature never drew
   'Mongst kings and priest and peasant.
   We're not that way at present,
Save here in this Republic, where
   We have that old regime,
For all are kings, however bare
   Their backs, howe'er extreme
Their hunger.  And, indeed, each has a voice
To accept the tyrant of his party's choice.

A citizen who would not vote,
   And, therefore, was detested,
Was one day with a tarry coat
   (With feathers backed and breasted)
   By patriots invested.
"It is your duty," cried the crowd,
   "Your ballot true to cast
For the man o' your choice."  He humbly bowed,
   And explained his wicked past:
"That's what I very gladly would have done,
Dear patriots, but he has never run."

A little bit more:

I dreamed I stood upon a hill, and, lo!
The godly multitudes walked to and fro
Beneath, in Sabbath garments fitly clad,
With pious mien, appropriately sad,
While all the church bells made a solemn din --
A fire-alarm to those who lived in sin.
Then saw I gazing thoughtfully below,
With tranquil face, upon that holy show
A tall, spare figure in a robe of white,
Whose eyes diffused a melancholy light.
"God keep you, strange," I exclaimed.  "You are
No doubt (your habit shows it) from afar;
And yet I entertain the hope that you,
Like these good people, are a Christian too."
He raised his eyes and with a look so stern
It made me with a thousand blushes burn
Replied -- his manner with disdain was spiced:
"What!  I a Christian?  No, indeed!  I'm Christ."