Terri's Cellar Door

Stuff that happens to me, Terri.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Nicolas Cage is In the Wickerman! He's in the Wickerman's Head!/Dream A Little Dream of Me

Somebody just told me that the other day and it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my life. Now, I know my sole purpose in life is to just go see the Wickerman and laugh my @$$ off. So, anyway, I had this dream that I thought I should share, and hopefully a trained psychologist (not you, Poison! I said trained. Just kidding I (heart) you!) will stumble across my page and maybe tell me what the hell is wrong with me, just by analyzing this dream. So, um, I was at this S.I.A. meeting. That's the club I'm in on campus, the Student International Association. So, anyway, instead of our current President our old (old) president was heading up the meeting, Dorothy. Latoya (our new president) and I were sitting at this table next to these glass containers, and in them was this cocoa powder. But it wasn't normal cocoa powder, it was like Jim Beam or something, because it smelled like alcohol. But I think it also said Jim Beam on the cover. So, anyway, we were going to give those away to the members who came to the meeting, and also, we had this little chocolate packets everywhere. Like ketchup packets, but full of chocolate, you know? So, Latoya and I were getting all the extra little packets that were everywhere, and we were just going to eat the chocolate out of the packets. So, I'm sitting there grabbing all these little packets, and Latoya and I are having this good old time over in the corner, sitting at this table. And so Dorothy is about to start the meeting, and you know how you're singing a song, but not really? Like you're kinda humming it absentmindedly? Well, Dorothy was humming, I Want to Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston. So, like, we all start singing along in a really loud voice. You know, like how everybody bursts out into song if they like that particular song? So, all the girls as singing, and all the guys are looking at us like we're stilltarded (because even though SIA has practicallyno guys in it, in my dream there were like about half guys). So, we're all singing, and then it starts to die down, you know, and then, for some reason, Melina Kanakaredes is there and she's dancing. It's a very specific dance where she's shaking her arms up and down and pumping her fists, with her head down. And she starts going when the song is like, Don't you wanna dance, say you wanna dance (DANCE). Oh, and she's wearing this brown trenchcoat. So, we're watching her dance a little and I notice that her arm is on fire. Not like, all on fire, but just a little patch of it is on fire. So, then I walk over and pat it out. And that's it. A little patch of fire. That's all it was. Nothing to write home about, it barely singed the coat, butI walked over, calm as day, and patted it out, LIKE NOTHING WAS WRONG!!! I probably need somebody to talk to. You know, about life, the universe, and everything.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

What I Want in a Guy

* I wrote this.

1. A guy that will pretend to listen to my stupid stories.
2. A guy that won't hug me too much.
3. A guy that shares the same level of intellect as me.
4. A guy that doesn't mind if I'm wearing sweatpants, as long as I don't mind that he is.
5. A guy that can make me laugh, and finds me at least tolerably funny.
6. A guy that won't disown me in public, but won't fawn on me either.
7. A guy that will go to a movie with me to see the movie.
8. A guy that's a geek, but isn't gagging on his own geekdom.
9. A guy that will not demand that attention be centered all the time on him.
10. A guy that will not demand that all attention be centered on me.
11. A guy that just feels sometimes like doing nothing.
12. A guy that doesn't feel like he has to impress me every second of every day.
13. A guy that knows who Homestar Runner is, and finds him just as humourous as I do.
14. A guy who's really a jokester at heart, and usually deflects serious situations with humor, but when the chips are on the table, you can count on him, because he's the type of guy that knows the line and where to draw it, but still doesn't take himself to seriously.

That's not asking that much, is it?

What Women Want In a Guy

* I didn't write this


1. Getting kissed in the pouring rain
2. Have that one hot kiss where your pressed against the wall
3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world
4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs
5. A guy that whispers he loves you in your ear
6. Have that moment where you just gaze into each other's eyes
7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.
8. When you're not with your guy he's all that you can think about
9. Wearing his jacket and everytime you breath in, his scent surrounds you
10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.
11. A guy who squeezes your hand
12. A guy that says he loves you and means it
13. A guy that will play your favorite song outside your window
14. A guy who is loyal
15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.
16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.
17. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable...not hot, fine, or sexy
18. A guy that will never judge you for how you look.
19. A guy that says cheezy stuff to you just to make u smile
20. A guy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends
21. A guy that tells you everything honestly
22. A guy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family
23. A guy that will always let you win
24. A guy who stands up for you no matter who he is against
25. A guy who calls you at night just to say 'hi' and see how your day has been
26. A guy who tells you that your smile makes everything better
27. A guy who will sit on the phone with you when you're sad, even if you're quiet
28. A guy who you can hangout and have fun with
29. A guy that will just randonmly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you
30. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.
31. A guy who would love you forever no matter the circumstance.
32. A guy who wouldn't mind you wanting to get all dressed up and do your make up for him. Even if he says he likes you better without make up.
33. A guy who you can be yourself with and he will never give a care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him.
34. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair, like he's washing your worries/troubles away.
35. A guy who tells you you make his day better, just for being you

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Battle Royale

"Come at me. Every inch of me will resist you."

Battle Royale is this shiny movie that was a big hit in Japan a couple years back. Anyway, this is a test for people who have seen the movie and some who have now.
Caution: If you get Mitsuko, well, you're crazy. And don't um, be around people.

What Battle Royale character are you?
take the quiz at pinkuspider.com!!

Friday, September 08, 2006

Ice Cream Addiction

Harley and I had been married for about eleven years when I realized that she had a serious problem. Every morning I would get little TayQuon and Shalizephra ready for school, and I would get ready for work, and she'd still be lounging in the bed, not even stirring from a late night binge. It would be about 12:30 before she would call the office, screaming through the reciever: "Where'd you put it, bitch?! Where is my stuff! I've told you to keep you g**damn hands off it!" I would hold the phone away from my ear, and bite my lip to keep the tears from flowing down my cheeks. Debbie and Kline would peer over the cubicle walls and shake their heads sadly. "Honey, I wish you wouldn't get started so early.", I would say, quietly. It was a whisper, almost a plea. Debbie sits hard down at her desk. "Tell her it all melted." Kline walked past slowly, "Deb, she wouldn't lie to that she-devil if her life depended on it. After I pick up the kids, and head back home, there are already Reese's Swirl cartons all over the floor, and I can hear her stomping around in the kitchen. I send the kids upstairs to get started on thier homework, and I get started cleaning. She walks in with a spoon still hanging out of her mouth, "Terri, I told you not to put the new cartons in the big freezer, they get hard, and I can barely break into them!" She raises her hand as if to strike me and I flinch, but the icy confection already has her, so instead she sinks down on the couch to stare at the black tv. Later on, as I lie in bed, she scoots in close to me, and I can smell the choclate on her breath, each a warm, deep sigh that curls the hair on the back of my neck. The night that I decide to leave is much like this. Kilne and Debbie are raving because she has once again taken the money I had budgeted for my lunch everyday, to fuel her habit. When I put up the least amount of resistance, she sent her fist into my mouth, drawing blood from my lip. It brought tears to my eyes every time I thought about it, and it took all of my strength to keep from crying as I got into the carpool line to drop the kids off at school. Kline walked by my cubicle, and gasped, it wasn't long before they were both calling me to move in with them. "Look, Terri, she's not worth it. What she's doing to you... all for that white stuff." Why don't you just take the kids and leave." Leave? I think. And go where? I have no options, and I certainly don't know what she'll do if I'm not there to fuel her habit. And some part of me still cares about her, and I'm not sure what would become of her if I left. However, thier words began to touch me and I was very sure that leaving would be the best option for me. However, as soon as the kids and I stepped into the house, I was sure that things would almost always stay the same. The house was quiet and I was sure she was either gone, scoring her next hit from the local ice cream man, or fast asleep in our bed upstairs. So, I didn't mind TayQuon going to get a little afterschool snack. I walked in behind him, just in time to see him reach towards thee refrigerator, and a hand reach for him. She wasn't gone, she had simply collapsed at the kitchen table! Tayquon began to scream as she shook him by his collar, screaming at the top of her lungs about little s**ts in her stash. I raced for my son, and wrested him out of her arms. I could overlook some things, but when she grabbed the boy, that was enough. Which more quickness than I would have given her, she snatched up a butcher knife that was on the kitchen counter. TayQuon still stood in range, so I shoved the boy backwards, and made a go for the knife. We fell to the floor, and after several moments of frantic struggle, I felt Harley go limp. I looked downward to realize that the knife had made it's way into her chest, and directly into her heart. It was that moment that I began to cry. As I gathered my children into my arms, I suddenly realized that even with everything that had happened, the worst was over. Now, with Kilne and Debbie with the kids upstairs, I wait with Harley in the kitchen. I am waiting for the police to arrive, but I have a smile on my face. The worst is truly over.

Which Homestar Runner Character are You?


Which Homestar Runner character are you?

this quiz was made by jurjyfrort

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

What ha happened....

I sincerely hope that the right people hear this, but I want it to be a matter of public record. If they don't, that's cool too. I was just too much of a bitch to send this to them. I will warn them, they know who they are, if you aren't sure, it's not for you, that it's not all good, though there is no profanity, which is more than I can say for this post.

This is it...

Monday, September 04, 2006

To The Crocodile Hunter:

Dear Steve,

I'm a 23 year old woman who never got over her early love of animals. And when I first started watching your show, so many years ago, I felt your love for them just as sure as I did. You were excited, you were silly, and you were downright fun to watch. And I was sure that you were invincible. I watched you do things that I thought no mere mortal could get away with. Looking into the face of snakes, running with camels, and hanging out the sides of mountains with a camera and sometimes Terry in tow. You were trampled, broken, bitten and stung over and over, but you were calm, you were cool, you were collected and you were the Crocodile Hunter. Terry, Wes, and the whole of Australia Zoo benefitted from that love of animals that kept you going all these years. That love that choked up your voice when you talked about endangered animals and when you took those amazing steps to protect them. I know that a lot of things are going to be said in the next couple of days/weeks etc. But I want them to remember your love of animals. I want it to permeate our society and our world so that people remember what you did and who you were. And maybe, just maybe, things will be better because of it. Not just for the animals of Earth, but the people too. I'm not going to say that you were happy the way that you died, but I will say that you died as you lived: Educating people about animals so that we could all one day appreciate them as you did.


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