..... I don't care, I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me." So, I'm so in love with Firefly right now, I'll have Joss Whedon's eternal babies. But more on that later. It's a great show, so check it out sometime in syndication. Anyway, this post is really to respond to a post that a friend of mine wrote, the title of which was somewhere along the lines of
"In Style" or Out of Style, or something. Anyway, the jist of it was that black women have never been 'in style' as a potential mate or at least life partner at any time or with any race, and that white women are universally known as beautiful worthy mates, and therefore even the most unstable, anattractive of the bunch can find a guy who will treat her like a queen, even if she doesn't appreciate it. I recognize that may seem a bit harsh, sweeping, and more than a little racist, so I'm going to try to be clear. This is from what I've seen in my life, in real life, and through the media and other outlets. If I'm saying anything untrue let me go ahead and apologize for that right away. Correct me. But don't just write and say something to the effect of, well, you're wrong. Or, I'm a white girl and I don't even have a boyfriend! sigh! Well, having a boyfriend doesn't have anything to do with being recognized worldwide as innocent, pure, and beautiful, worldwide. This country is a prime example. Beauty is recognized as long, flowing hair, lighter skin and more delicate features. The more 'white' a woman looks, and more beautiful she's considered. The epitome of black female beauty, or at least the one black woman that's consistantly on guy's list of the hottest Hollywood women, is Halle Berry. Now, whether or not this is just a pick to placate their few black friends remains to be seen, maybe I'm just being a tad cynical. The fact remains that though Halle is very proud of her African-American heritage, she is also half Caucasian. Therefore she more than slightly envokes the facial features of a white person in addition to the 'good hair' that signifies beauty to so many black women in this country. To be frank, this predisposition to white women crosses many cultural barriers. I know a young, black man right now, who is simply unwilling to date another black friend of mine. They have many things in common and they both seem to possess an attraction to one another. Yet, asking his white friend why he wouldn't give her the time of day, his response was that he only date white women. If that doesn't give you a moments pause, then think about it again. could you imagine a totally normal white guy. Good guy, good job, doing well for himself. Just an average Joe, only dating black girls? We would think something is wrong with him. That he's trying to 'act black' or some such nonsense. Not only are black guys falling into this, but men from all over the world. They come to America, and are taught to fear blacks, see them as untrustworthy, and therefore the women as undateable. Lower in some ways. While this all goes into deeper racial lines that I could never begin to deal with, the fact remains the same, black women are not seen as beautiful, delicate, and whatnot. They don't seem to need protection, and most of all they aren't seen in the way that makes men knock each other over to get to. They are seen as strong, not needing help, and aren't lifted up on the pedestal that white women sometimes (often) get. Black women are strong, but all women are strong. They all require help sometimes, and sometimes they'd love it if you just buggered off and minded your own business, that's the way of women. Let me tone down on the sweeping generalizations: not all white women are evil, crazy, and all that, not all black men will prefer one over a black women, blah blah blah. And of course, this isn't supposed to be a sweeping indictment (second time: indictment, second time: sweeping) but the fact remains that this is what I see in my life. All right, confessionz (sic) time. I am black, I have a boyfriend, he is white. Which is much less important to me than the fact that he knows what HomeStarRunner is and watches Firefly. I am a geek. I like other geeks. If they are white, so be it. I really don't believe in picking a race to date/marry/fall in love with and sticking to it. I always feel like you're missing out on someone special because you only date white girls, or parakeets, or muskets. Anyway, this has already gone on too long already, but you get my point. Let's not let ourselves be blinded by a person and what's on the outside. Too many times we miss the inside, too. Wait, no, a little off the point. I love my white sisters, even if I want to strangle them sometimes, I love my black sisters too, and only when we get back to being sisters, can we really ban together and do what we really need to be doing: sticking it to the man.
